The Beginning of Your EMDR Session:

Resourcing and Settling In

When your session starts, we don't jump straight into processing trauma. That would be like asking someone to run a marathon without warming up. We begin with something called resourcing, and this is one of the most underrated parts of EMDR.

Resourcing means we're building internal resources — stability, safety, calm — before we touch anything difficult. We do this through breathing and visualization. I'll guide you to imagine a place where you feel safe, peaceful, or resourced. This might be an actual place you've been, or it might be something you create. Some people visualize a beach. Others imagine being held safely. Some clients see a light, or feel a warm presence. There's no right answer. Your mind will go where it needs to go.

How Bilateral Stimulation Works

While you're doing this visualization, I'm using the bilateral stimulators — we use tappers, which are small handheld devices that gently vibrate in an alternating rhythm on your hands or legs. The tappers mimic what happens naturally during REM sleep. They activate both hemispheres of your brain. Most people feel a subtle shift almost immediately: a sense of calm, a gentle heaviness or sleepiness. This is your parasympathetic nervous system coming online — the "rest and digest" system, the opposite of fight or flight.

The pace of the tapping matters. Some rhythms are grounding and deeply soothing. Others are slightly more activating — enough to keep you engaged without overwhelming you. I'm constantly calibrating based on what you're experiencing and what you're telling me. This is where the skill comes in. I'm keeping you in what we call your window of tolerance — activated enough that real processing can happen, but not so activated that you feel flooded or unsafe.

This resourcing phase might last 10 to 20 minutes, depending on your needs. By the end of it, most clients feel noticeably calmer, more present, and more ready to do the harder work.

The Processing Phase: What Happens in Your Body and Nervous System

Once we've established that resourced, regulated state, we identify a target — the memory or experience you want to work on. I'll ask you to bring that memory to mind, and then we begin bilateral stimulation again while you hold it.

Here's where it gets interesting, and also where people often feel surprised by their own experience. Once the bilateral stimulation begins, your brain starts doing something it naturally wants to do: process. As you focus on the memory with the bilateral stimulation running, your mind might jump to related memories, emotions, body sensations, or thoughts. You're not trying to make anything happen. You're just noticing.

I'll give you periodic check-ins — I'll pause and ask "What came up?" You might say a word, a sensation, an image, a feeling. You're not giving me details. You're just reporting. Then we start again, and your brain keeps working.

The Neuroscience Behind the Shifts

What's happening neurologically is fascinating. The bilateral stimulation is taxing your working memory just enough — with a simple, rhythmic task — that the trauma memory begins to loosen its grip. The emotional charge starts to decrease. This is based on the same mechanism that happens naturally during REM sleep, when your brain processes the day's experiences. We're essentially accelerating that natural process.

Physically, clients report all kinds of things during processing: tingling, heat, muscle twitches, pressure in the chest, shifts in body temperature. Some people cry. Some feel a release in their jaw or shoulders. Some feel nothing obvious but report afterward that something shifted. All of these are signs that the nervous system is moving and releasing what it's been holding.

The session continues until the distress associated with that memory has significantly decreased. Then we do something equally important: we install a positive belief to replace the old negative one. We work on a more adaptive way of thinking about the memory, and we cement that new belief with more bilateral stimulation.

Throughout all of this, my job is to keep you safe. I'm tracking your facial expressions, your breathing, your body language. I'm making sure you stay within your window of tolerance. If I sense you're getting too activated, I can slow the tapping, change the rhythm, or bring you back to a resource. If you're dropping below your window into numbness or dissociation, I can gently increase activation.

This is why it matters that your EMDR therapist has deep training and experience. This isn't something you can phone in.

Integration and Regulation

This is another part that doesn't get talked about enough, and it's crucial. We don't just end a processing session and send you out the door. We take time to regulate.

I'll guide you through a visualization of your preferred future or a way you'd like to be in relationship with others.

People respond differently after EMDR. You may feel tired, emotionally open, calm, activated, or simply unchanged at first. Memories, dreams, or body sensations can sometimes continue to shift between sessions, but these experiences are not universal and are not proof that treatment is or is not working.

Here's what's common, and I want to be clear that these are normal, expected responses, not signs that something went wrong:

Fatigue and Exhaustion: Your brain has been working intensely. It's similar to how you'd feel after a long, mentally demanding day, or after intense exercise.

Vivid Dreams: This is one of the most common post-EMDR experiences. Your brain continues processing at night.

Emotional Sensitivity: You might feel more emotionally open or tender than usual. Things that wouldn't normally bother you might hit differently.

Physical Sensations: Some clients report headaches, muscle soreness, tingling, or a general sense of physical heaviness after a session.

Continued Processing: You might find that memories, insights, or realizations continue to surface in the days after your session. This is completely normal. Your brain is still working.

What to Expect Before and After Somatic EMDR Intensives

If you're considering the two to four hour somatic EMDR intensive format, which is what I specialize in, there are some specific things you should know about how it differs from a standard session, and what to expect in preparation and recovery.

A somatic EMDR intensive is longer, yes. But it's different in more than just duration. In somatic EMDR, we're not just processing memories cognitively. We're working directly with your nervous system and the way your body is holding trauma. This is crucial

Some clients notice meaningful shifts in the days following an EMDR session, including changes in how they relate to the memory or experience we worked on. Everyone responds differently, and some people need more time and ongoing support. Not because their trauma is gone, but because their relationship to it has shifted. The emotional charge has decreased. Their nervous system is calmer. They're noticing changes in sleep and they're brain may seem clearer.

This is why the two to four hour intensive format is worth it, for some people, in some situations. If you've been stuck, if talk therapy hasn't moved the needle, if your trauma is held in your body and your weekly sessions aren't giving you enough time to actually release it, a somatic EMDR intensive might be exactly what you need.

The investment, in time, in emotional energy, in cost, is real. But so is the shift that becomes possible when you give your nervous system and your body enough time and space to actually heal.

If you're in Southern California and interested in exploring whether somatic EMDR intensives are the right fit for you, I work with clients in Escondido and Del Mar. I'd be glad to talk you through what the process actually looks like and help you understand what to expect.