What to Expect Before and After Your EMDR Session in San Diego

Okay, so you booked your first EMDR session. Maybe you're excited. Maybe you're terrified. Maybe you're both at the same time, which, honestly, is the most common thing I hear from new clients. You're not alone in feeling like you have absolutely no idea what's about to happen.

‍By Kelli Lane Redfield, LMFT | EMDR with Kelli | Del Mar & North County San Diego

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Before Your Session: The Nerves Are Normal

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Most people come in a little anxious their first time. Some people come in a lot anxious. Either way, the first thing I do is name it. I'll ask how you're feeling walking in, and I genuinely want to know — because that nervousness is actually useful information for where we start.

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Before we do anything, we talk about consent. And I mean really talk about it. In somatic EMDR, consent isn't just something you sign on a form. It lives in your body. You're in control the entire time. You can slow things down, pause, or stop completely — and I will never push you past a no. That's not just a nice thing to say. It's how I work.

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As for what to do the day of: eat something real, drink water, wear something comfortable. Don't spend the morning rehearsing your trauma story or doom-scrolling stressful content. Just try to arrive as regulated as you can. That's genuinely all I need from you.

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During Your Session: What's Actually Happening

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We don't jump straight into the hard stuff. First, we resource — which basically means we build a sense of safety and calm inside your body before we touch anything difficult. I'll guide you through some breathing and visualization, and we'll use tappers (small handheld devices that gently vibrate in an alternating rhythm) while you do it.

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Those tappers are doing something really cool. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology suggests that bilateral stimulation during EMDR may reproduce the neurophysiological conditions of slow-wave and REM sleep — the states in which the brain naturally processes and integrates emotional experiences. (PMC, 2017) A more recent study published in ScienceDirect (2025) is actively exploring how eye movements in REM sleep suppress amygdala activity — and whether bilateral stimulation in EMDR works through the same mechanism. (ScienceDirect, 2025)

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Most people feel a gentle heaviness or sleepiness pretty quickly. That's your parasympathetic nervous system coming online. That's the good stuff.

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Once you feel settled, we identify a memory or experience to work on. You bring it to mind, the tappers run, and then — you just notice. Your brain starts doing what it's designed to do: process. I'll check in with you along the way. You don't have to explain everything. A word, a feeling, a sensation is enough. Then we keep going.

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Throughout all of it, I'm watching you closely — your breathing, your face, your body language — and making sure you stay in what we call your window of tolerance. This concept, developed by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, describes the optimal zone of nervous system arousal where you can process emotional material without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down. (Simply Psychology, 2026) That means activated enough for real processing to happen, but not so activated that you feel flooded. That's my job. Yours is just to notice and trust the process.

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At the end of the session, we don't just stop and send you out the door. We close things out intentionally, through visualization and forward-focused thinking. You should leave feeling more grounded and hopeful than when you came in — lighter.

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After Your Session: What to Actually Expect

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Here's what's real and normal in the 24 to 48 hours after:

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You might be tired. Like, really tired. Your brain just did a lot of work. That's not a bad sign — it's actually how you know something moved.

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Vivid dreams are coming. Research points to a meaningful connection between EMDR processing and what happens in the brain during REM sleep — the stage when emotional memories are consolidated and integrated. (Ottawa EMDR, citing REM research) The dreams can feel intense, but they settle down after a night or two. They're part of the loop closing.

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You might feel emotionally tender. Things that wouldn't normally land as hard might hit a little different. That's okay. You're in an open, integrating state. It passes.

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Physical stuff can happen too — headaches, soreness, tingling, heaviness. All normal. Your nervous system is releasing and reorganizing. Studies show that trauma-focused, body-based therapies like EMDR can reduce activity in the amygdala (the brain's fear-response center) while increasing activity in the prefrontal cortex — the area responsible for emotional regulation and clear thinking. (Elevation Behavioral Therapy, 2025) Physical sensations after a session are often signs of that reorganization happening.

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My standing advice for after a session: don't cook. Seriously. Order food, grab something easy, let someone else handle it. Then go for a walk, even just 15 to 20 minutes. Movement helps your body close the loop that we opened in the session. Then sleep, and be gentle with yourself.

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So What's the Difference with Somatic EMDR?

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Standard EMDR works primarily with memory — helping your brain reprocess traumatic experiences through bilateral stimulation. It's evidence-based, effective, and recognized as a first-line treatment for PTSD by the American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. (APA, EMDR for PTSD)

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Somatic EMDR goes one layer deeper. It brings the body into the conversation. Because trauma doesn't only live in your memories — it lives in your nervous system, your muscles, the way you brace without realizing it, the places you've learned to go numb. Standard EMDR processes the story, the memory, the feeling. Somatic EMDR also processes what the body is holding — the sensation, the trigger, the bracing that never got to complete.

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Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world's leading trauma researchers, has endorsed both somatic psychology and EMDR as among the best approaches for treating PTSD — specifically because they work with the body's experience of trauma, not just the narrative of it. (Dr. Arielle Schwartz, citing van der Kolk)

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In practice, that means I'm not just tracking what you're thinking or feeling — I'm also asking "where do you feel that in your body?" and working with those sensations directly. We move slowly enough that your body can actually release what it's been holding, not just talk around it.

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For people who've done years of talk therapy and still feel stuck — still feel it in their chest, their gut, their shoulders — somatic EMDR is often the thing that finally moves the needle. Because we're not asking your mind to figure it out. We're inviting your body to let it go.

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If this resonates and you're ready to see if we're a fit, book here. If you're in Southern California and curious whether this is the right fit for you, I work with clients in person in Escondido and Del Mar. I'd love to connect.

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Sources:

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• Amano & Toichi (2016). The Role of Alternating Bilateral Stimulation in Establishing Positive Cognition in EMDR Therapy. PMC. Read

• Bergmann (2017). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing and Slow Wave Sleep. Frontiers in Psychology. Read

• ScienceDirect (2025). Do eye movements in REM sleep play a role in overnight emotional processing?Read

• Siegel, D.J. (1999). The Developing Mind. Guilford Press. Via Simply Psychology

• American Psychological Association — EMDR for PTSD

• Dr. Arielle Schwartz — Somatic Interventions in EMDR Therapy

• Elevation Behavioral Therapy (2025) — The Science Behind EMDR

Your Top EMDR Questions Answered, By a San Diego EMDR Therapist

By Kelli Lane Redfield, LMFT | EMDR with Kelli | Del Mar & Escondido, San Diego, California

If you've been searching for answers about EMDR therapy — whether it works, what a session actually feels like, or whether intensives are worth it — you're in the right place. These are the questions I hear most often from people considering EMDR in San Diego, and I've answered each one as clearly and honestly as I can.

Can EMDR Therapy Be Effective for Managing Anxiety and PTSD?

Yes — and the research is strong. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one of the most well-researched treatments available for both PTSD and anxiety.

The American Psychological Association, the World Health Organization, and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs all recognize EMDR as an evidence-based treatment for PTSD. Studies consistently show that EMDR can produce significant reductions in trauma symptoms — often in fewer sessions than traditional talk therapy.

For anxiety specifically, EMDR works by targeting the underlying memories and experiences that keep the nervous system in a state of threat. Rather than managing anxiety symptoms on the surface, EMDR helps resolve what's driving them. Many clients notice that anxiety they've carried for years begins to lose its grip after just a handful of sessions.

At EMDR with Kelli, we use a Somatic EMDR approach — which layers body-based awareness into the process — making it especially effective for people whose anxiety lives in their body (tight chest, shallow breathing, chronic tension) and not just in their thoughts.

What Should I Expect During My First EMDR Therapy Session?

Your first session is not reprocessing. It's a conversation.

Before any bilateral stimulation happens, your therapist needs to understand your history, your goals, and how your nervous system currently responds to stress. That groundwork matters — it's what makes the actual trauma processing safe and effective.

Here's a general outline of what to expect in early EMDR sessions:

Session 1 — History and Assessment You'll talk about what brings you in, your background, and what you're hoping to change. Your therapist will assess how ready your nervous system is for trauma reprocessing and explain the EMDR process in plain language.

Sessions 2–3 — Preparation and Resourcing Before targeting any difficult memories, you'll learn grounding and stabilization tools — ways to calm your nervous system quickly if things feel overwhelming. This phase is often underestimated, but it's foundational.

Sessions 4+ — Reprocessing This is where bilateral stimulation begins. Your therapist will guide you to hold a target memory or belief lightly in mind while following a moving light, tapping, or another form of bilateral stimulation. You don't have to describe the memory in detail or relive it. Most people describe the experience as watching something from a distance — present, but not overwhelmed.

In a Somatic EMDR session, you'll also be guided to notice what's happening in your body throughout — sensations, impulses, shifts in tension — because the body often holds what the mind can't yet articulate.

Sessions typically run 60–90 minutes. You may feel tired afterward, and some people experience vivid dreams or emotional processing between sessions — this is normal and usually a sign the work is continuing.

Are EMDR Intensives a Good Way to Do Therapy?

For the right person, yes — EMDR intensives can be genuinely transformative.

A standard EMDR schedule (one hour per week) means a lot of time between sessions. You spend the first 15–20 minutes re-orienting, the middle reprocessing, and then you have to stop — often before a memory or belief has fully resolved. The next week, you start again. It works, but it's slow.

An intensive format compresses that timeline. Instead of weekly one-hour sessions, you work in extended blocks — typically 2–4 hours per session, over one or several consecutive days. This allows the nervous system to stay in processing mode longer, which often leads to deeper shifts in less time overall.

EMDR intensives tend to work especially well for:

• Busy professionals who can't commit to weekly appointments for months

• People who've done years of talk therapy and feel stuck

• Those dealing with a specific event or targeted trauma (not complex developmental trauma)

• People who want focused, accelerated progress

What to look for when booking an intensive:

• A therapist trained specifically in delivering EMDR in an intensive format (intensives require different pacing than weekly sessions)

• An intake and stabilization phase before the intensive begins

• Scheduled follow-up sessions after — closure and integration matter

At EMDR with Kelli, Somatic EMDR Intensives are available in San Diego. They're structured to include preparation, focused reprocessing, and integration support — not just extended sessions stacked together.

How Do I Find a Qualified EMDR Therapist in San Diego?

There are a few things worth checking before you book with anyone.

1. Look for EMDRIA credentials The EMDR International Association (EMDRIA) is the professional body that sets training standards. A therapist who is EMDRIA-Certified or Approved has completed a structured training program and consultation hours beyond basic certification. You can search the EMDRIA therapist directory at emdria.org.

2. Ask about their specific training EMDR training varies widely. Some therapists have completed a basic weekend training. Others have pursued advanced training in specific populations (perinatal clients, complex trauma, somatic approaches). Ask directly: What EMDR training have you completed, and do you have experience with cases like mine?

3. Make sure they offer a consultation A good EMDR therapist will offer a free consultation before you commit. Use it. The therapeutic relationship is a major factor in how effective EMDR will be — you want to feel safe, not just impressed.

4. Consider their specialization EMDR is used across a wide range of presentations, but some therapists specialize. If you're dealing with complex PTSD, burnout, attachment wounds, or nervous system dysregulation, look for someone who specifically names those areas.

Kelli Lane Redfield, LMFT is a Somatic EMDR therapist based in Del Mar and North County San Diego, working with high-functioning adults navigating PTSD, CPTSD, burnout, anxiety, and chronic stress. Free consultations are available — you can get started here.

Are There Intensive EMDR Therapy Options Available for Busy Professionals?

Yes — and this is exactly who intensives were designed for.

If your schedule doesn't allow for consistent weekly appointments, or if you've been putting off therapy because you can't see how to fit it in, an intensive might be the answer. Many professionals find that blocking two or three days for focused EMDR work accomplishes more than six months of weekly sessions — and fits better into a demanding life.

Common intensive formats include:

• Half-day intensives (2–3 hours) — a good starting point for those new to EMDR

• Full-day intensives (4–6 hours with breaks) — suited for targeted trauma processing

• Multi-day programs — typically used for complex trauma or those who've traveled specifically for treatment

EMDR with Kelli offers Somatic EMDR Intensives in San Diego for professionals, parents, and adults who want results without a year-long commitment. Sessions are structured with intake, stabilization, reprocessing, and integration — so you're supported before, during, and after the intensive work.

If you're curious whether an intensive is the right fit for you, a free consultation is the best place to start.

Ready to Get Started with EMDR in San Diego?

Whether you're looking for weekly Somatic EMDR sessions or an intensive format that fits your schedule, EMDR with Kelli offers both — in person in Del Mar and North County San Diego, and virtually throughout California.

Book a free consultation →

Kelli Lane Redfield, LMFT (#158231) is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Somatic EMDR, complex trauma, and nervous system regulation. She works with high-functioning adults in Escondido, Del Mar, and North County San Diego.

Sources:

• American Psychological Association — EMDR for PTSD

• EMDR International Association — What is EMDR?

• World Health Organization — Guidelines on Mental Health (2013)

• Somaticemdr.org — Somatic EMDR research overview

The Role of Body in Emotional Healing: 2026 Guide

Emotional healing is not a purely mental process. The role of body in emotional healing is foundational: emotions are stored in your nervous system, expressed through physical sensation, and transformed through embodied experience. This is not a metaphor. Somatic therapists and neuroscientists now agree that lasting emotional recovery requires working with the body directly, not just talking about feelings. If you have ever felt a knot in your stomach before a hard conversation, or noticed your shoulders drop the moment you felt safe, your body was doing the talking long before your mind caught up.

How does the body communicate emotions during healing?

The body communicates emotional states through a process called interoception, the brain's ability to sense internal physical signals. Interoception is the foundation of body awareness and emotional health. When you feel grief, your chest may tighten. When you feel fear, your breath shortens and your muscles brace. These are not random physical events. They are your nervous system encoding emotional experience in real time.

Your nervous system runs the show when it comes to emotional processing. The autonomic nervous system, which includes the sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest) branches, constantly adjusts your body's state based on perceived safety or threat. Trauma and chronic stress lock the nervous system into patterns that keep the body in a state of alert long after the danger has passed.

Common bodily signals that carry emotional meaning include:

• Chest tightness or pressure: Often linked to grief, anxiety, or suppressed emotion

• Jaw clenching or shoulder tension: Frequently signals unresolved anger or hypervigilance

• Digestive discomfort: Connected to fear, dread, or anticipatory stress

• Fatigue or heaviness in the limbs: A common sign of depression or emotional shutdown

• Tingling or warmth spreading through the body: Often signals a release of held tension or a moment of safety

Interoceptive awareness is context-specific, meaning your capacity to track bodily signals shifts depending on whether you are in a positive or negative emotional state. Practitioners with higher body awareness in positive emotional contexts show lower trait anxiety. This tells us that learning to feel safety in the body is not passive. It is a trainable skill.

Pro Tip:Before your next stressful meeting or conversation, pause for 10 seconds and notice where you feel tension in your body. Simply naming the sensation, "tight chest," "clenched jaw," begins to shift your nervous system's response.

What does research say about body-based emotional healing?

Science is catching up to what somatic therapists have known for decades. The mind-body connection in healing is no longer a fringe idea. Recent 2026 research offers compelling evidence that body-based interventions produce measurable emotional and psychological change.

A 10-week embodied training program called Body-Mind Axial Awareness (BMAA) significantly reduced depressive tendencies by improving interoceptive awareness and sense of personal agency. The training group achieved a mean depression score of 2.40 compared to controls. That result matters because it shows that structured physical awareness practice, not medication or talk therapy alone, can shift mood at a measurable clinical level.

The table below summarizes key research findings on body-based approaches to emotional healing:

Study or ApproachKey Finding Emotional Impact BMAA Embodied Training (2026)

Reduced depressive tendencies via interoception and agency

Mean depression score of 2.40 in training groupExposure Therapy for Physical Symptoms

Reduced anger, disgust, fear, sadness, and shame

Effect sizes ranging from 0.22 to 0.71

Exposure Therapy: Joy Increase

Moderately increased joy in persistent symptom patients

Joy effect size at d = 0.73

Allostatic Load Recovery

Physiological recovery measurable within weeks to monthsSignificant improvements post-stress removal

Interoceptive Awareness Scale (2026)

Positive emotion context linked to lower trait anxietyHigher body awareness correlates with better psychological health.

Exposure therapy, a body-involved treatment used in primary care, reduces negative emotions including anger, disgust, fear, sadness, and shame with effect sizes ranging from 0.22 to 0.71. Joy increased at an effect size of d = 0.73. These are not trivial numbers. They represent real shifts in how people feel day to day.

Recovery from chronic stress also happens faster than most people expect. Physiological improvements following the removal of chronic stressors are measurable within weeks to months, supporting allostatic load theory. The body wants to return to balance. Your job, and the job of good therapy, is to remove the obstacles.

How can body literacy strengthen emotional well-being?

Body literacy is defined as the ability to recognize, interpret, and respond to your body's physical signals with understanding rather than alarm. It is the practical skill set that makes body awareness and emotional health work together in daily life. Without body literacy, physical sensations feel random or frightening. With it, they become information.

The Comprehensive Resource Model (CRM) and its Zone of Well-Being framework offer a structured approach to building this skill. Body literacy skills strengthen emotional regulation by helping people identify stress physiology, reduce self-blame, and return to their Zone of Well-Being using CRM strategies. When you understand that a racing heart before a presentation is your nervous system preparing you, not evidence that something is wrong with you, shame loses its grip.

Here is a practical sequence for building body literacy over time:

1. Morning body scan: Spend 60 seconds each morning noticing physical sensations from head to toe without judgment. This trains interoceptive attention.

2. Emotion-sensation mapping: When you notice a strong feeling, pause and locate it physically. Ask: where do I feel this in my body? What does it feel like?

3. Breath as anchor: Use slow, extended exhales to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. A 4-count inhale and 6-count exhale is a reliable starting point.

4. The Conductor's Pause: Micro-practices like brief grounding moments throughout the day train nervous system regulation, turning conscious techniques into natural bodily responses. Before a stressful situation, pause, feel your feet on the floor, and take one full breath.

5. End-of-day reflection: Note one moment when your body felt at ease and one moment when it felt activated. Over time, patterns emerge that reveal your personal stress triggers.

Pro Tip:Pair your morning body scan with a consistent cue, like your first cup of coffee or tea. Attaching a new practice to an existing habit makes it stick far faster than willpower alone.

Building a supportive morning routine is one of the most accessible ways to begin developing this kind of daily body awareness.

What physical symptoms appear during emotional healing?

Physical symptoms during emotional healing are normal, expected, and often misunderstood. Many people experience a wave of physical discomfort after a significant emotional breakthrough and immediately worry something is wrong. The opposite is usually true.

Physical symptoms like skin eruptions, digestive upset, and exhaustion often follow emotional breakthroughs and represent the body's active rebalancing, not illness. These symptoms signal the completion of interrupted defensive responses. Think of it this way: when a threat response was never allowed to finish, the body holds it in suspension. Healing gives it permission to complete.

Common physical manifestations during emotional healing include:

• Skin changes: Breakouts, rashes, or flushing as the body processes stored stress hormones

• Digestive shifts: Bloating, changes in appetite, or loose stools as the gut-brain axis recalibrates

• Deep fatigue: A sudden need for more sleep as the nervous system downregulates from chronic activation

• Muscle soreness or trembling: The body discharging held tension, particularly in the hips, jaw, and shoulders

• Heightened emotional sensitivity: Crying more easily or feeling more moved by ordinary moments as emotional numbness lifts

Healing trauma involves retraining the nervous system to move fluidly through emotions, not releasing trauma as frozen toxins. That distinction matters. You are not purging something toxic. You are completing a cycle your nervous system started and never finished.

The key to coping with these symptoms is to stay curious rather than alarmed. Rest when your body asks for it. Hydrate. Reduce stimulation. And if symptoms persist beyond a few days or feel severe, consult a medical professional to rule out unrelated causes.

Key takeaways

The body is not a passive container for emotions. It is the primary site where emotional healing happens, and working with it directly produces faster, deeper, and more lasting results than insight alone.

PointDetailsBody encodes emotion physicallySensations like tension, fatigue, and chest tightness are nervous system signals, not random symptoms.Interoception is trainableStructured body awareness practices measurably reduce depression and anxiety, as shown by BMAA research.Body literacy reduces shameRecognizing stress physiology as normal helps people stop blaming themselves and build resilience.Physical symptoms signal healingSkin changes, fatigue, and digestive shifts after emotional breakthroughs are signs of rebalancing, not illness.Micro-practices build regulationBrief daily grounding habits train the nervous system to regulate more naturally over time.

What i've learned working at the intersection of body and emotion

Most people arrive in therapy expecting to talk their way to healing. They want to understand why they feel the way they do, and that understanding matters. But understanding alone rarely moves the needle on how the body feels day to day.

What I have seen consistently in my work as a Somatic EMDR therapist is this: the moment a client shifts from narrating their experience to actually feeling it in their body, something changes. The breath deepens. The shoulders soften. A long-held story starts to loosen. That shift does not happen through analysis. It happens through the body.

One thing that surprises almost every client is the physical dimension of their healing. They expect emotional breakthroughs to feel purely emotional. Instead, they feel them in their hips, their jaw, their gut. They get tired in a new way, a good tired, the kind that comes from genuine release rather than depletion. When I explain that this is the body completing what it started, the relief on their faces is immediate.

My honest observation after years of this work: the people who make the most lasting progress are the ones who learn to trust their body's signals rather than override them. Not because the body is always right, but because it is always honest. It tells you what your mind has learned to hide.

If you are someone who has spent years living from the neck up, thinking your way through every feeling, I want you to know that coming home to your body is not as scary as it sounds. It is, in fact, where the real healing lives.

— Kelli

Ready to heal at the level of the body?

If this article resonated with you, you are likely someone who senses there is more to healing than talking about the past. You are right. Somatic EMDR works directly with the nervous system to process and release held trauma, using body-based awareness alongside bilateral stimulation to create real, lasting change.

At Emdrwithkelli, sessions are intentionally small in number and deeply personalized, held in a boutique coastal therapy space in North County San Diego or at a holistic center in Escondido. Whether you are navigating burnout, anxiety, or long-held trauma, somatic EMDR therapy offers a path that honors both your mind and your body. When you are ready to feel safe in your own skin again, book your first appointment and take the first real step toward restoration.

FAQ

What is the role of the body in emotional healing?

The body stores emotional experiences as physical sensations within the nervous system. Healing requires working with these bodily signals directly, not just processing emotions mentally.

Can body movements actually aid therapy?

Yes. Body-based approaches like somatic EMDR and exposure therapy reduce negative emotions with measurable effect sizes and increase feelings of joy in clinical settings.

What is interoception and why does it matter for emotional health?

Interoception is your brain's ability to sense internal physical signals like heartbeat, breath, and muscle tension. Higher interoceptive awareness in positive emotional contexts correlates with lower trait anxiety and better psychological health.

Why do physical symptoms appear during emotional healing?

Physical symptoms like fatigue, skin changes, and digestive shifts after emotional breakthroughs represent the body completing interrupted defensive responses. They are signs of active rebalancing, not illness.

How long does physical recovery from emotional stress take?

Recovery from chronic stress-related physiological disruption can occur within weeks to months once the source of stress is removed, according to allostatic load research.

Recommended

• The End of a Hard Year: How to Reset. — EMDR with Kelli

• What Is Somatic EMDR and How to Know Trauma Therapy is Right for You, Holistic Therapy in California — EMDR with Kelli

• This Morning Routine Will Improve Your Mood — EMDR with Kelli

• EMDR with Kelli | Start Your Holistic Healing Journey Today

The End of a Hard Year.

When the Year was Hard for EVERYONE. How To Reset.

As a trauma (Somatic EMDR Intensive) therapist, I hear the hardest stories, and not much surprises me anymore. I am not saying I don’t feel strongly about what I hear, but I think hearing the worst stories everyday does get to a person, even a highly trained person. Many people ask me how I hold it all, how do I take care of me. Well, for me, that is not what I concern myself with as much as how do I support my clients when everyone seems to be having that hardest year.

Prices of everything have risen to the highest I’ve seen as a Xennial. Everyone is feeling the tightening of the belt. One of the first things I’ve noticed is people stop going to therapy, as if it’s not healthcare and not necessary. Now, sometimes therapy is not necessary, but many times, we, out of avoidance, or just inability to handle anything outside of daily living, put off healing. If this is you, now shame from me. But how to reset if you are not in therapy or cannot afford therapy.

First, if you are dealing with suicidality, now is not the time to take off, find a therapist that you can afford or will work with you. During the year end, some symptoms like SI get worse. Please seek therapy. This is not to replace therapy, it is adjunct.

1. Focus on health of the body - move, dance, eat, sleep, socialize, make love, be present. The body holds so much all year long. Let go, make it a ritual everyweek, but at the end, use your body to let go.

2. Focus on being present - notice. I often tell my clients to just notice how they are showing up, that’s the knowledge they are often looking for, if you don’t notice your bodies shows up, then you will not be able to find the wisdom it offers.

3. Make plans, if that feels productive - some people thrive by making plans, others it completely overwhelms.

4. Do something for fun and not productive- more joy this year. Break the pattern of responsibility and do something you love.

5. My son added, take a shower or a bath. You deserve that nervous system reset.

6. Find a non-judgemental friend. Write out all your worst thoughts, unfiltered. Throw them away if they bring shame, or share them, shame loses power when spoken/written.

Happy Holidays! Here’s to a year of healing and abundance.

If you’re feeling alone this Winter, send me a message if you need some therapy, or coaching, I’m around and want to help. If it’s an emergency, call 988 or 911.

How to Know If Somatic EMDR Is Right for You—5 Signs It’s Time to Get Support

Somatic EMDR - What is it, Is It Right for Me?

When trauma lives not just in your mind but in your body, standard talk therapy may leave you feeling under-processed. That’s where Somatic EMDR comes in — a powerful blend of traditional EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and somatic (body-based) therapies designed to help you not only understand your trauma but feel it, move through it, and begin to live from a place of ease and embodied resilience.
Typically used for complex trauma, PTSD, anxiety, and for adults and high performers who are already highly self-aware but still feel “stuck,” Somatic EMDR offers a path forward that honors both mind and body.

What is Somatic EMDR?

At its core, Somatic EMDR combines the structured protocol of EMDR—which engages bilateral stimulation (like guided eye movements, taps, or sounds) to help the brain re-process traumatic memories Cleveland Clinic+2American Psychological Association+2—with somatic awareness work that brings attention to bodily sensations, movement patterns, nervous-system responses, and what your body is holding onto. Arielle Schwartz, PhD+2Natasha Alan-Williams+2
In practice, that means your therapist guides you in safely accessing and re-processing a memory while staying attuned to sensations in your body—tightness, pulse, breath, shifts of energy—helping your system to move out of freeze, fight or flight, into a more regulated state. Arielle Schwartz, PhD+1
Because trauma is stored not only as a story in your mind but as an imprint in your nervous system and body, this mind-body approach helps what was once fragmented become integrated: you no longer just think about change—you embody it. Arielle Schwartz, PhD+1
In other words, Somatic EMDR is ideal when you’re done with merely rationalizing your experiences—but ready to feel safe, grounded, and whole in your body again.

5 Signs Somatic EMDR Might Be Right for You

1. You’re deeply self-aware but still feel stuck.
   You know your patterns, you understand why you react the way you do—but you can’t seem to change the underlying energy or shift how it lives in your body.

2. Your body is doing the talking.
   You experience persistent physical symptoms—tight shoulders, chest tension, shallow breathing, startle responses, dissociation—that don’t fully get addressed in traditional talk therapy.

3. You perform well externally but feel off internally.
   High achiever, busy professional, intentional parent or go-get-it person—on the outside you’re doing fine. On the inside you feel like you’re managing rather than living, and your nervous system is quietly over-taxed.

4. You’ve tried therapy and mindfulness, but your nervous system still runs the show.
   You practice breathwork and journaling, yet when trigger hits or pressure builds you revert to old survival mode. A more embodied approach is needed.

5. You’re ready for embodied change—not just insight.
   You no longer just want to understand your history—you want to re-pattern your nervous system and feel different in your body: calm, present, resilient.

Why This Matters in Trauma & PTSD Recovery

Trauma isn’t only a memory—it’s a pattern in your nervous system, a body-held story that shows up as reactivity, dissociation, self-criticism or emotional freeze. Research shows that therapies that include somatic awareness and nervous-system regulation in conjunction with EMDR yield deeper, more lasting shifts. Arielle Schwartz, PhD+1
By addressing what happened and how your body still lives it, Somatic EMDR helps you complete what got interrupted, restore safety in your system, and reclaim your capacity to live fully and intentionally.

How to Get Started & What to Look For

If this resonates with you, the next step is to find a therapist trained in both EMDR and somatic interventions. On your first consultation you might ask:

• “How do you integrate body-based awareness (breath, movement, nervous-system regulation) into EMDR sessions?”

• “What support do you provide when sensations surface during processing?”

• “Do you help me build ongoing nervous-system resilience between sessions?”
  In Del Mar and online throughout California, I specialize in Somatic EMDR for adults, high performers, moms, trafficked professionals and holistically-minded individuals looking for embodied change. If you’re ready to shift from insight to embodied healing, reach out today to schedule your consultation and begin your journey toward trauma recovery, nervous-system regulation, and a life lived in alignment.

This Morning Routine Will Improve Your Mood

Slow Mornings, My True Obsession.

Slow mornings are something that I often remind people is an act of self-care. When people take their time, they are anti-capitalist. They wake up and drink a hot beverage, enjoy a nourishing snack and find their ability to reflect and journal, as a form of mind-dumping meditation.

What does a slow morning look like with kids (this is my current only way to do slow mornings, due to the kids part).

6:30 AM, sleep until 7.

7:00 AM, get up and get coffee, pack lunches, feed children, and send them to school.

8:00 AM, check in with partner, make plans, make a connection emotionally, encourage them, send them off if they are leaving.

8:30 AM, Finally, time to unwind, paint my children’s book, eat coffee cake or yogurt and berries.

9:00 AM, a walk or jump on my trampoline. I’ve found I am a morning movement person. Sometimes I take a sparkling water if I am feeling extra.

9:30 AM, work on something future oriented, a goal like a podcast, marketing, a new IG or tik tok page.

10 AM, start work

How does this improve my mood? Well Existential theory often discusses how we need to identify where we have choices. And though I may be missing out on financial stability by making my own schedule and following my own rhythm, I refuse to be burned out again. I love my slow mornings and they do increase my mood. I hope you can find a routine that suits your rituals.

How to Take An Effective Mental Health Day

Mental Health Days Are Sick Days

Yesterday, my daughter called from Jr High and said she wasn’t feeling well. When she called, she was met with empathy and compassion and immediate action.

That’s so different from when we call into work. Even when we work for ourselves. There is this underlying question, do I really feel bad enough to not work? Maybe your needing to work and can’t afford the time off. I’m here to say, if things have been hard lately, you can’t afford not to.

Recently, I took a licensure exam and built into the 4 hour test was a few breaks. You can’t push through bad mental health days, just like you can’t push through a 4 hour licensure test. You need rest, refueling, and respite. Call a friend make an Somatic EMDR appointment.

Next time you wake up and need a sick day, like when you were in grade school, be your own mom and show yourself some empathy and compassion. Your work will improve when you take care of your mind and body. That’s a holistic view of mental health.